Nostalgia for the Future

I love a good cry.

I don’t cry much in my life itself, but I cry like a baby during movies/tv shows/comics/books. I love knowing that someone out there has created a character that I feel so strongly about that their death/sacrifice/heartbreak moves me to tears. Sometimes it can even just be a bittersweet scenario that blurs up my vision.

There’s just something so liberating about it. Perhaps because I force most of my emotions down during the day, ‘put on the retail mask’ for work so I don’t tell the rude customers to sod off while they yell their head off at me for something that was neither my fault nor even remotely within my control.

It’s bizarre that I revel in the sadness. I so deeply enjoy the damp cheeks, reddened eyes and irregular breath that I try to mute for the sake of those around me, that sometimes afterwards I wonder if I should perhaps see a psychiatrist over the issue. I’m generally a chipper person, mostly good moods, the occasional cranky spat (who can claim they never crack it ever?), but generally a cheery and positive girl. So much so I even take pleasure in crying! Yet you’ll find I very VERY rarely cry over events in my own life.

The reason I bring all this up is because I just spent the last half an hour crying my poor eyes out, turning my sweet cheeks sodden. Why, you ask – all a-quiver with curiosity – that is simple. I just watched the Doctor Who specials.

My husband and I resisted temptation and held off watching the Christmas special this year until the New Years special was ready, because neither of us are fond of cliff hangers. So we sat down this evening to enjoy them and as expected they were brilliant.

I’ll give you all a polite SPOILER WARNING here, even though I imagine most fans have already watched it, and most of what I’m going to say the vast majority of the odd few fans who have still not seen it will have been able to figure out about as much as I will say, but anyway, heads-up, because there’s spoilers approaching.

From the moment the Doctor was standing there, trying to decide which person he had to kill my eyes were getting damp, and when the Master bravely sacrificed himself they slipped over the bottom lids of my eyes. Then the second the Doctor had to face the decision of sacrifice himself or Donna’s grandfather I just started bawling. When he didn’t regenerate on the spot I regained some composure, but as he went and said his farewells to all those special people to him my tears became a torrent once more, even if I was laughing though the rain when he was seeing Jack and grinning like a fool as he took his last look at Rose.

It was just so precious, sweet and perfect. If I were wearing a hat I would take it off in your honor Russell T Davies. Gimme a second, I’ll run to my room, grab all of my hats, put them all on at once and take them off one by one for you!

I did like getting a little glimpse at the new Doctor, but I’m still full of apprehension about the new Doctor. I loved – no love, still present tense – David Tennant’s Doctor so much I’m not sure I’ll be able to love the new Doctor as deeply. I’m sure he won’t be horrid, no casting agent would be silly enough to select someone who could not act well, and we’ve already established how I feel about the writers! So we’ll be safe, I’ll like him, but will I love him? The anticipation is almost titillating!

I’ll admit freely for you all, I have only watched the newer Doctors, Eccleston and Tennant. When I was a child I saw an episode of an earlier Doctor, and the Daleks scared my eight year old self so bad I used to rush to the TV and switch it off the second I heard the opening music, an aversion which stuck with me for years until my lovely husband sat down one day almost two decades later and asked me: “Have you ever seen the Doctor?”.

Together we’ve been hunting down dvd’s of the older episodes so I can watch them and hopefully love the older Doctors also. I’m looking forward to stumbling across the episode that terrified me as a child.

Nostalgia for the future. How unique. How the Doctor.


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One Response to “Nostalgia for the Future”

  1. Lenny Says:

    It was such an emotional eps. It will be a wait & see how Matt Smith does. One of my friends is giving a wait & see but said he’s already not liking him. Time will tell soon. 🙂
    I hope you will like my blog entry. 😉

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